If you have any lines that you feel are effective and they have been known to act like Kryptonite on an Estrogen filled Super-Hot Woman, send them on over. If not, enjoy and email me back with any successes or failures you may have encountered using them. Remember, it is all in the delivery!

There were so many of them that it took me a while to format them, so I did not get a chance to get out any duplicates or sort through them. Help me out by letting me know which ones are your favorites and I will put them on the top of the list or let me know the ones that should be taken off. Enjoy...

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: Sure that isn't "yield to merging traffic"?

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I can always shoot my load on your face.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me....... As long as you're still warm when I shove it up your ass.

Male: Do you want to dance?
Woman: No!
Male: I think you misheard me. I said your ass looks fat in those pants.

Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you"
Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

Excuse me, do you wanna fuck, or should I apologize?

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?

One of us is thinking about sex... Okay, it's me.

I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you instead?

Man: Do you have any Chinese (or other nationality) in you?
Woman: No.
Man: Would you like some?

Your name must be doo-doo cause you're the shit!

That blouse is very becoming on you. If I was that blouse I would be cumming on you too.

(Another variation) Those pants look very becoming on you, but then again, if I were in your pants, I'd be cumming too.

Your name must be Mona Lisa because you are definitely a work of art.

I wish I were one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
(An actually somewhat legitimate one)

Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.

Hey babe, why don't you sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.

What's wrong? You're looking a little sad and gloomy. What you need is some vitamin me.

Are your legs tired? 'Cause you been running through my mind ALL day long.

Are you lost? 'Cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.

Is your father a thief? 'Cause he stole the sparkle from the stars, and put it in your eyes. (Yo, watch out though, and be prepared with a snappy answer just in case she says 'yes')

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?

What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.

If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight?

Hey, I know that guy Phred....(just wanted to see if you were actually reading these)

Can I see that label? I just wanted to know if you were made in heaven.

Do you like raisins? How about a date?

(Tap your thigh) You just think this is my leg.

So... How am I doing'?

I miss my teddy bear...Would you sleep with me?

You look great and all, but do you know what'd really look good on you? Me.

Could I get some directions? ("To where?") To your heart.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

(Grab her ass) Excuse me, is this seat taken?

I like every muscle in your body...especially mine.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Look at you, with all those curves, and me with no brakes.

Can I flirt with you?

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

That outfit looks really nice, but it'd look even better in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

Hi, my name's _____, but you can call me "lover".

Hi, my names ______. That's so you know what to scream.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Would you be my love buffet so I could lay you on my table and take what I want?

Can I borrow that quarter, 'cause my mom told me to call home when I fell in love

(Another variation of the quarter thing) Could I borrow a quarter?
Cause I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

(Yet another quarter line). Could I borrow...Cause I just want to call your mother and thank her.

Once you get to know me, you'll find out I'm a lot like an M&M. I just want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

You know, I've got the f, the c and the k, so all I need is you.

Was your father a thief? Cause he stole the thunder out of the skies and put them straight into your thighs.

They say the body's 98% water.... and I'm kinda thirsty.

You know, there's been a rumor going around that you're a lesbian.

(Lick your finger and then touch her shirt). Here, let me help you out of those wet clothes.

I'm not sure if I'm gay. Will you help me find out.

Hey babe, do you wanna see something swell?

Drop em!

What do you like for breakfast?

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

Say, did we go to different schools together?

(Hand out a card that says) "Smile if you want to sleep with me" and then watch them try and hold back their laughter.

Hi, my name is _____, how do you like me so far?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Hey baby, let’s go make some babies.

(At the copy machine) Reproducing, huh? Can I help?

(Motion with your finger for a girl to come over) I knew if I fingered you long enough you'd come.

Woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
You: "Do you have the energy?"

(If the lady has kids) Say mother, want another?

You look like the type of girl that's heard every line in the book. So what's one more?

You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

Your face or mine?

(If she asks for a match) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I'll guess you weight.

I'd look good on you.

I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

I love every bone in your body...especially mine.

Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

NOW, BITCH!

My face (or nuts) is leaving in 10 minutes...be on it.

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or should I nudge you?

I'm new in town...could you give me directions to your apartment?

I think you're the most beautiful girl I've seen...on a Wednesday

How did you achieve such an ugly effect with only FDA approved cosmetics.

You're ugly, but you interest me.

If I gave you a negligée for your birthday, would there be anything in it for me?

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry, for fear of losing you.

I'm leaving this place.....want to cum?

I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line? Are you disappointed?

Why, you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to come across

Ok, fuck me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to kiss me.

I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

Free mammograms, free mammograms here, get em while they're hot!

Do you have a map? I just get lost in your eyes.

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Are you religious? Good, cause I'm here to answer your prayers

Do you have a boyfriend?
-Well, when you want a MANfriend, come talk to me
-Want one?
-Why don't you drop the zero and get with the hero

Did it hurt? *did what hurt* When you fell out of heaven.

Do I know you from somewhere? Cause I don't recognize you with your clothes on.

I'm conducting a feel test on how many women have pierced nipples.

Is it cold out or are you smuggling tic-tacs.

Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us,

Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat chick.

Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

I'm not a cop, but what can I get for fifty bucks?

Inheriting 80 million doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

Hello Suzie, your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home...my what a pretty dress.

If I was Elvis, would you do me?

Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!? I thought you knew....

Stare at her breasts "Cold out, isn't it?"

"What was that?" "that sound" "It was the sound of my heart breaking"

Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance and I'll loosen her clothes.

Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated?

Since we shouldn't waste in this day and age, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

If your parents hadn't met, I'd be a very unhappy man right now.

Either way, I'm going to have you tonight, so you might as well be there.

Wanna go halves in a baby?

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation?? "NO!" did you wanna go upstairs and talk?

(Hold out two fingers and say) "Why should women masturbate with these two fingers? "I don't know" you say, "Cause they're mine sweetheart"

I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman

Hey babe, why don't you sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better.

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw

Just call me milk, I'll do your body good

Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your BedRock

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going

Yo baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it

I enjoy doing maintenance, you look like someone I would like to "tinker" around with

You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you're the Bomb

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous

Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

Wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter

Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag

If you were a car, I'd wax you and ride you all over town

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine

I'd look good on you

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?

You look like a girl that has heard every line in the book, so what's one more going to hurt?

I love every bone in your body - especially mine

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away

Do you want to dance, No? Well I guess a fuck is out of the question

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

I lost my bed, can I borrow yours?

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy

My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot

Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long

You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala

Hey baby, I'm like American Express, you don't want to leave home without me

Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, or yield?

Hi my name is _______, remember it, cause you'll be screaming it all night long

Was your father a baker? Cause you've got a nice set of buns.

Was your dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons

You must be Jelly, cause jam don't shake like that.

The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue

Hi, my name is Skippy, like the peanut butter I stick to the roof of your mouth

Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?

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Last Updated 10/13/02